Monday, May 5, 2008

I'm too full to swallow my pride

I haven't updated in over a month. I've been so busy, I guess I just kinda forgot about writing in this thing.
A lot has happened over this past month.
I've recovered from my surgery, thank God. Getting back up to the speed of things was really hard and stressful on me. I was really behind in all of my classes, and considering the fact that I'm taking too many, I thought I wouldn't be able to get my grades back up. I managed a 3.5 though.

Rebel Without a Cause is over. I'm really glad it was my first play. Rehearsals were a mess, but we really came through on the last week. I really got to know a lot of different people during the play, and a lot of my views on people changed. I gained a couple of really great friends. Too bad they're seniors and leaving this summer. Ha.

Though I've gained some friends, I've lost some of the best friends I've had throughout the years. And it hurts, but I'm starting to deal with the fact that I can't do anything about it. People move on, and become different people. You have to except it. No one is ever going to be the same.

I made Steppin Up for next year with Allie. I'm actually really excited. I have no idea what was going on in Overland's head, but i'll take it. I think Allie and me will have a blast. I'd take Steppin Up with Allie over Solid Gold any day. That way I don't have to deal with idiotic things and actually have fun. =) Plus, I can take an art class now too.

This weekend is Prom. And I'm really excited, for the most part. The way the school is having it at Spirit Mountain is ridiculous. But, I'm actually going with my boyfriend this year, and that's all I want. It will be a good prom to remember this time.

Things with me and Kiefer...
We love each other.
Though we have no time for each other.
And we take things out on each other because we are stressed and busy.
But we love each other.
I wish we shared more moments.
But like I said... we're both so busy.
I just need to know that this summer will be amazing. I need it, because last summer was horrible.
I need to know that we'll stop fighting. Because, I can't fight with him anymore.
It's hurting me more and more every time.

I just need him to show me that it will be okay. And that we will always be together, and be happy.
If something is wrong with us, then everything else feels like it's tumbling. And then who will we have to catch each other?
It will all be okay.

I need school to be done.
I need an entire day without anything in my way.
I want a perfect day. I know perfect doesn't exist, but I want a day that in my eyes seems perfect.

I'm going to Vegas this summer for speech. And I'm SO excited for it. I know it's going to be such a fun experience. And I'll be hanging with Hana. This girl is amazing. I've never had such deep talks with a friend. We completely get each other. I think of her as a little sister.
I just need to get some money for this trip!

I'm working at fashion bug now. Kacie got me the job, and I feel so lucky. Someone like me is not meant to work at McDonalds. I'm trying to get in as many hours as I can without going overboard.

Taryn..my little sis will be here in just one more month. She way she randomly calls me worries me though. She sounds so sad.. I feel like she still thinks I abandoned her. I can't wait to throw her her sweet sixteen when she comes home. She'll finally be getting out of that dump.

I got to see Rylee for the first time in three months. I was so happy that she was able to go to the play and stay over. She's such a little smarty pants. It's sad that I'm not really going to be able to watch her grow up anymore though.

Theme concert next week.. ha. I wonder how the dance after will be.


Gosh...
two years next month...
wow.
That is pretty amazing.
That is more than amazing for me. Everything that we've gone through to get to this point..

=)

I'm just gonna end this on a happy thought. Cause that makes me feel pretty happy.

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