I Gotta Have You

My grades are good for my report card. I get to go on the NFL trip. I got a part in the spring play. I'm getting a job soon. I have my friends again.
But if things aren't right for Kiefer and me, none of it matters. Because he is what means the most to me. Because I love him. And I want to be with him forever.
I hope our talk last night helps all of this. I know neither of us want to keep doing it.
I need it to be fixed.
We rarely have time for each other.
I miss that feeling of when I finally got to see him. How we were the only two people in the world, and nothing else mattered. Everything felt amazing and passionate... and I would just feel so grateful.
I had that feeling last night.I want to be able to have that sometimes. I remember when we could just lay for the longest time holding each other, staring in each other's eyes, and just kiss. That's all we needed.
I want us to be happy to see each other. I don't want us to take things out on each other. I don't want us to be mean for no reason....I want us to do cute little things for each other. say cute little things. Put each other in good moods. Just love each other without always worrying about everything else.
I don't think that because we live together it all has to be different. We have to stop making it different.
And I need to say what is on my mind, when I'm thinking it, or when something is happening. And after today.. I really know that now.
I made a stupid mistake, and I'm sorry. I know it was wrong, but I'm worried about my health, and was just thinking about every possibility, and they all scared me. I feel so drained when I'm always getting sick. The pain in my stomach feels like someone is ripping at my guts.
I just want it to go away.
I know he doesn't mean to hurt me. And I don't mean to hurt him.
He tells me it will all be ok. So, I believe him.
And after last night and today, I really feel it will be.